Birthday gifts from my awesome staff. T-shirt and treats.

The First Fun Med Blog Post.

By Kristen Biggs | June 26, 2019

Estimated time to read:  4 minutes

 

CliffsNotes Version:

 

  • I’m a self-proclaimed dancing queen, but I’m occasionally tired.
  • Happy Birthday to me!
  • I treat STDs.
  • Avert your eyes if you don’t want to see.
  • Not only am I the president of Santa Fe Functional Medicine, but I’m also a client, too.  
  • “She blinded me with science.”
  • Things I write when I procrastinate getting into the shower and ready for work.

 

OMG!  I AM ALREADY BEHIND with an elective, self-imposed, fun, hobby-type of project I have not yet started.  The first post of my new functional medicine blog about stress-related disorders was supposed to go out YESTERDAY; on the momentous occasion of my birthday.  And, it didn’t. Why not? Well, I got home late, I was tired, I wanted to spend time with the hubs and our kids, I was really tired, I wanted to go to sleep, and I was really, really tired.  Did I mention I was tired? So, I went to sleep at 9 pm last night, and I subsequently received 8 hours and 40 minutes of VERY peaceful, restful, and restorative sleep. And, TODAY I AM going to try again.  Today, I am ON TIME.  So, here we go.  Here’s yesterday’s post:

 

It’s my birthday.  I came into this world in the past.  Some women lie about their age, and they’ll tell you that they’re younger than they actually are.  In my mind, I think I am older than I am.  I feel like I was probably a millenial in the 1960s, so by my calculations, I’m like 70 years old right now.  Chronic stress will do that to you; it accelerates the aging process.

 

Rather than ask for legos for my birthday or donate money to the charity of my choice on FB, I wanted to mark my birthday this year with the momentous occasion of the coming-out post of my blog.  I should call Jerry Springer. We need to do a show. “Mom and Dad, I’m a closeted stress-bomb. But, I’m coming out to you. And, I’m also your kid.” Laugh-cry emoji.

 

So, here it is!  My very first blog post!  Goooooood morning, New Mexico!  Sometimes Robin Williams appears as the genie inside my head and ideas begin to swirl out of Aladdin’s lamp.  What a beautiful person. He is certainly missed by many. I wish I had had an opportunity to help him.

 

And, you may ask, what is this blog all about?  And the answer is, my area of practice focus, which is the treatment of stress related disorders.  Instead, let’s agree to call it what it is; “The Treatment of STDs.” Stress and Trauma Disorders, of course.  Because, stress and trauma are basically the same thing anyway. Stress causes trauma, and trauma causes stress.  And, I think people will remember that I’m the vascular surgeon who treats STDs, in addition to varicose veins.

 

So, I’m probably going to have to set up some ground rules and some healthy boundaries later.  But, for now, let’s just keep it simple.

 

Some of you will not agree with what I say, so if you don’t, I’m okay with that.  Take it with a grain of salt. Here’s my legal disclaimer: the posts on my blog are my own opinions and I am not actually giving you medical advice.  I think there was a Holiday Inn commercial about what qualifies you to successfully perform a job. “I’m not actually a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.”  I’m not actually a medical comedienne, I just play one on my trips around the sun.

 

Why am I writing about STDs?  Because I feel qualified to speak on this topic.  

 

Good Functional Medicine practitioners ask, “What is the why behind the why?”  As in, “why is Dr. Biggs qualified to speak about stress?”  And, that is the purpose of this blog. To explain why through stories of my personal experiences with stress, as well as the science behind STDs.  Kind of like how Alton Brown describes cooking.  

 

And, with this information, I hope to empower you to begin healing yourself from your own STD.  As a doctor, I think it’s important for me to heal myself first before helping others, like they say in safety briefings on aircraft carriers:   

 

“This is your captain speaking. In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you.  Please pull the mask down toward your face and place the mask over your mouth and nose. If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, please attend to yourself first, then assist the other person.  Breathe normally, adjust the headband to suit yourself.”

 

So, buckle up, we are fixin’ to take off.  And, grab a gluten- and dairy-free snack, because sometimes it’s a six-minute read.

 

And, now I’m back to today’s post.  So, hopefully you will join me tomorrow, when we will talk about SMART goals.  And, as of today, TOMORROW IS UNWRITTEN.  

 

So, pull out your secret decoder rings now to read the hidden messages in bold-face type throughout the post.  This is the Creed of Stress-Bombs Anonymous (the SBA).

 

This is the hidden message:

I AM ALREADY BEHIND YESTERDAY.

TODAY I AM ON TIME.

(older, why, science, please attend to yourself first, then assist the other person.)

TOMORROW IS UNWRITTEN.