The Funky Dancin'Fox Jumpsuit

The One About SMART Goals.

Estimated time to read:  10 minutes.

CliffsNotes Version:

***All I want for Christmas is a six pack.

***SMART goals, defined.

***Yoga.  Downward-doggie-fire-hydrant style with The Fun Med Doc.

Hi there. Welcome back to the blog. We are talking about STDs, Stress and Trauma Disorders. As promised, we are going to talk about establishing some SMART goals today.

I’ve had a little bit of time to ponder my SMART goal, and I want to share it with you. You are welcome to pick the same SMART goal if you want.  In the last blog, we were talking about the stages of change and readiness to take action. I’m at the point in my life that I would like to level up my game. Don’t get me wrong. I am totally enjoying my life upon this planet, spinning around the sun in this incredible universe. I feel very blessed and very grateful for all of my experiences thus far.

I found myself daydreaming and wondering, what if life could be even MORE amazing, with even MORE vibrant, beautiful, and wonderful experiences? I remember hearing Dr. David Rakel speak at the Institute for Functional Medicine‘s “Energy” module. Dr. Rakel encouraged us to consider, “What do you want your health for?”  In other words, why do you want to be healthy? Or, what would enjoy if you lived in a state of optimal health and wellness? My answer is that I want my health for the purpose of being able to live a long and happy life (perhaps to age 150 years old), walking strong and tall upon this planet with an open mind and open heart to having the richest experiences this world has to offer.

So, when I set my SMART goal, I set it knowing that my goal is in line with my life‘s mission statement of enjoying everything I possibly can while I am here.  Without further ado, here is my SMART goal. And, I just have to add, I learned that it is NOT “without further adieu,” as I once believed.  Without any more delays, here it is:

I will have photographic evidence of a six-pack on my body by Christmas 2019.

Wow.  I said it.  It’s real. It’s out there.  And at least three, maybe four, people know about it.  Laugh-cry emoji. I almost didn’t make this my SMART goal, but I really, really, really want this.  The abdominal “six-pack” has always been THE holy grail of fitness goals for me, seemingly impossible and ever elusive to obtain.  If I had Aladdin’s lamp, I would wish for abs, no doubt. My runner-up SMART goals are:

Look like the letter “I” instead of the letter “S” when I am viewed in profile (posture goal).
Love and look forward to yoga as much as I love sugar.
Look fabulous in my “Funky Dancin’ Fox Jumpsuit Costume” for Halloween, or for wear around the house when I am channeling Marie Kondo.

Is my goal smart? You betcha. And, it’s pretty sick, too, according to my soon-to-be eight year old. As we learned in the last blog, it’s important to carefully choose your SMART goal such that you will set yourself up for success in creating new, positive behavior change.  Does my goal follow the rules of the acronym SMART? Well, it would be helpful to know what “SMART” means in order to answer that question:

S - Specific.  The “who, what, when, where, and why” of your goal.

M - Measurable.  “How” you will track your progress.

A - Attainable.  Focus on smaller goals initially so you can start celebrating your wins.

R - Realistic.  Make sure you pick goals that you are willing and able to accomplish.

T - Timely.  Set a deadline for achieving your goal to keep you on track.

Well, let’s put it to the test.

Goal:  “I will have photographic evidence of a six-pack on my body by Christmas 2019.”

S - Who - me.  What - will have a six-pack.  When - by Christmas 2019. Where - on my body.  Why - because:

I will definitely change my waist:hip circumference ratio with the achievement of this goal and thereby reduce my risk of dying from cardiovascular disease and metabolic problems.
I will likely achieve my posture, yoga, and funky dancin’ fox goals as well in the process.
I will have a better chance at living a long and happy life.
I will feel like I found the holy grail, and it’s actually Aladdin’s lamp, and that I can accomplish absolutely anything I put my mind to.
I will be a good example for others by actually practicing the healthy tips I advocate.
I think it will be really fun and exciting.

M - I will track my progress with photographic evidence.  I will also track other parameters of health, such as waist:hip circumference measurement, body circumference measurements, percentage body fat measured by tissue calipers, weight, fasting blood glucose, blood ketones, my Medical Symptom Questionnaire (MSQ) score, and how my clothes fit.

A - So, I realize that it may not be a “smaller goal” in the sense that it will likely not be easily attainable, and there is a chance that it will not happen by Christmas 2019, but I DO believe it will happen, so we’re gonna go with that.

R - Again, completely realistic in my mind.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

T - Christmas 2019.

Ooh, I’m feeling a little bit queasy with what I just committed to publically.  Let’s change the subject. Let me end with a funny story:

I downloaded a yoga app my phone. Why? I think y’all already know.  Even though I am a doc in a medical office, I am constantly sitting behind my desk in front of my computer, typing away at my EMR, or more recently, catching up on the business taxes. I was talking with my mom the other day, and she believes we are going to evolve backwards into an ape-like species. I think she’s right. The more successful I am at putting on my own oxygen mask first, pausing, and actually relaxing, the more I notice my absolutely horrible posture. I’ve been walking around like this all the time and nobody told me I had my guts hanging out! Completely unaware that I have morphed into the 19th letter of the alphabet.

Did y’all just check and make sure that “S” is the 19th letter of the alphabet?  Bless your hearts. Laugh-cry emoji.

So, my mother, who is very wise, has been telling me for years that I need to do yoga. And, I keep on making excuses for why I shouldn’t. But primarily, I really hate downward-facing dog. And, my body doesn’t actually bend into most of the poses. And, I find it very, very mitochondrially-challenging to actually be still. And to focus on my breath. How weird is that?

But instinctually, I recognize that I should be the “I” and not the “S”. So, I downloaded the yoga app, and I am trying to follow along. I did an abdominal exercise session on July 3, and I am still sore! Just kidding. And it started out innocently enough. It seemed like we were kind of doing a warm-up. I was just more or less sitting there, innocently swinging my limbs about. It felt very carefree. And then, the instructor tells me to get up on all fours. I’m like, oh no lady, I know where this is going. But she was so convincing that my neural networks started firing before I could blink and I was up, doggy-style, on all fours. Hahaha! Are you laughing with me, or at me, reader Deb?!?!

And we do some exercises, kind of like those ones were you feel like you’re a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. They were much more popular in the 1980s, around the time of abs of steel with Tammy Lee Webb. I loved her. I still have her program, but it’s not on classic VHS format. I got it on DVD from Amazon. Awesome purchase.

Anyway, after the doggie exercises, there was a little bit where you’re lying on your back, kind of like a cockroach. All the sudden I realize, holy bleep. I’m doing abdominal exercises! And yoga! This yoga instructor just snuck up on me like a yoga-ninja. And I’m exercising?!?! Wow, sometimes it’s just as easy as pressing play.  Actually, it was a little bit more complicated than that. But, my story was funny, wasn’t it?

So, now that I created my SMART goal, how on Sam Hill am I actually going to accomplish it?  I’ve got a plan, people. Follow along to see what I do next.


***It just got real, people.  She’s made a SMART goal.

***I think she likes to use the word “people” a lot.

***Yoga is funny and good for you.